Helping divorced and widowed women in their second half of life move forward with resilience, vitality and a positive sense of self

Roberta Taylor

Roberta Taylor
Coach for Divorced and Widowed Women

Creating Your Single Space After Losing a Spouse

Creating Your Single Space After Losing a Spouse

Whether you were married for five years or fifty, when you lose your partner, either through divorce or death, you’re left with stuff. Every morning you wake up to things that elicit memories. Some you want to hold onto, others it’s time let go of.

Clearing your space opens the opportunity to create an environment that expresses who you are now.

How will you create a space that honors the past and reflects your personality and your values?

Living with reminders of the past can hold you back from moving on

When you’re attached to things, letting go can be difficult. You may feel guilty or disloyal. That’s not uncommon. Those feelings are connected to the past. Accepting that your life has changed can be a challenge.

The timing of making changes in your life and your environment is important. You’ll know when you’re ready. You may initially feel comforted having your spouse’s clothes, memorabilia and personal belongings around. Or, having constant reminders of the loss may be too painful.

If you initiated your divorce you may feel less conflicted. You may be anxious to make your space your own. When my husband moved out the first change I made was painting my bedroom mauve and buying a new comforter. I transformed my space from we to me.

Consider the following questions as you decide what to hold on to, what to let go of and what you want to change:

  • What things give you feelings of love and joy from the past?
  • Will reminders of the past bring you feelings of comfort or loss?
  • How do you want to feel in your single space?
  • What changes do you need to make to support those feelings?
  • Does your space reflect your lifestyle and who you are now?

Why is it important to create an environment that supports and comforts you as a single woman? 

Becoming single in your second half of life is a passage. You’re laying the groundwork for the future. Your surroundings are an expression of who you are and what you want in your life.

Benefits to making your space your own

  1. Letting go of the past opens possibilities for the future. Being surrounded by the past can keep you stuck and eventually lead to depression.
  1. Creativity thrives in open space. Clutter, both psychological and physical causes stress and can interfere with your creative energy.
  1. Creating your own space supports who you are and how you want to move forward. It opens up your consciousness. Setting and reaching new goals affirms that you have a future. You’re not abandoning the past, you’re living in the present.

Your physical space is an expression of you. It impacts how you feel about yourself and helps to re-define your life.

Would love your comments on changes you’ve made in your physical space since becoming single. How have the changes affected your emotional wellbeing?

Please share this with your network.

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