You didn’t plan on being single again but here you are. Whether divorced or widowed facing life after losing a partner is daunting. You’re on your own with overwhelming decisions to make in the midst of grief.
You’re going through a major life transition. Change is inevitable.
How will you rescript your life now?
Some part of you knows this … being strong in the broken places is empowering and fosters independence. Look for that strength within you as you take these three simple steps.
Accept that life will never be the same
Strangely, declaring the obvious provides a context for what you’re going through that will help you get unstuck.
Some days, you feel confronted by reminders that you’re no longer part of a couple. You may feel erratic or unable to move forward. But later in the day or the next day, as you allow your feelings to flow without gripping onto them, you’ll glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel.
When you accept these erratic waves of emotion as being part of your transition, you’ll gain a new perspective. It softens pain and grief so that you can move forward.
Ask yourself a powerful question
“Who am I now that I’m no longer part of a couple?”
Up until now, you’ve been defined by your roles as a woman— daughter, sister, wife, mother. You’ve consistently nurtured and supported others.
Now it’s your turn. Focus unapologetically on yourself.
Be independent in a different way than you have in the past.
Open up to awareness and possibility. The opportunity right now is to explore who you are, what you need and want in your next chapter.
What parts of you have been neglected or unrecognized?
How do you want to live your life?
Who do you want in your life?
How do you want to spend your time?
Exploring who you are now will help you create a life that you want to live.
Face your future but not alone
The greatest obstacle of suddenly having to manage life alone is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of risking happiness.
Risk happiness. You can do it!
- Rally your forces. Ask a few good friends to be there with you through the inevitable setbacks. Learn to be okay asking for help.
- Welcome new experiences and opportunities for growth and learning.
- Take care of yourself — mind, body and spirit. And be gentle with yourself when life is hard.
Rescripting your life involves letting go of what was, accepting what is and building a fulfilling life by setting and reaching your goals.
I’d love to hear how it’s going for you in the comments below. What challenges have you faced and how did you overcome them?
And to help other women— a salve on it’s own— please share this with your network.